Malik Post: "How To Meet Men"

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It has been exactly two years and eight months since I first set foot in the Concrete Jungle, better known as New York City, nevertheless I find myself assaulted with the question, “How is dating in New York City?”, and if per chance that question is too cumbersome for the interviewer to pose then the question that is more or less centered around self-interest, “How do you meet new men in New York City?” fills its void unapologetically. More often than not, I find myself avoiding conversations centered around the topic of dating simply because the advice offered can be invariably different case by case, but also administering advice on said topic would inadvertently deem me as some type of quasi-expert on dating within the black gay community. Admittedly, I am no expert on dating. You know that friend that’s always going on dates, to new restaurants, or meeting new men? I am that friend. My best friend loves to say, “Bitch, you stay with a new man!”. Now, I would never incriminate myself via written correspondence, but I must confess that I enjoy sharing time and space with my handsome black men. Furthermore, all this talk about dating spawned a reverie in which I asked myself, is there a method to my madness?

So here are my 5 tips to meeting new men

1.     Self-care is important

2.     Location, location, location

3.     Be ready for anything/ be spontaneous

4.     Always say ‘yes’

5.     Try new hobbies

Self-Care: It may sound self-explanatory, but self-care is imperative when dating and meeting new people. My moto is ‘you gotta be fine, to get fine’ so please make sure that you are properly groomed when meeting new men.

Location: You’ll never find new men in your back yard. Try to frequent a new area or neighborhood. I would recommend going during breakfast or lunch hours seeing as there is usually an influx of traffic during those hours. Try to frequent this neighborhood at least 3 times a week. You’re killing two birds with one stone by using this tactic; meeting new men and learning a new neighborhood.

Be ready for anything:  This tip may sound simple enough, but it is rarely adhered to. Be ready for anything simply means that when meeting new men plans can change at the drop of dime so you want to be as versatile as possible. I would also encourage you to remain open minded when meeting new men as well. Be spontaneous!

Always say ‘yes’: Force yourself outside of your comfort zone. If you stick to the same routine you will continue to meet the same men! If he asks you to go date to milk cows, say yes. You just might have fun.

Try new hobbies: Trying new activities will ultimately lead to meeting new men.


All the tips provided have been tested and proven, but also serve as great ways for dating yourself and getting to know new people. Check the blog for more tips on dating. 

- Malik